Family Vacations and Expectations
It’s that time of year again: Time for the family vacation. It’s
a good time to rethink some things like perfectionism,
expectations, and the meaning of the word “vacation.”
First of all, we call it a “vacation,” but if you’re the parent,
it isn’t going to be one for you. In fact you’re likely to work
harder than you would at home, so why not call it “The
Children’s Vacation.” Children don’t need a vacation for rest
and relaxation; in fact they’re likely to rev up for vacations.
If you’re looking for rest and relaxation, plan your own
vacation for another time. Here are some things to keep in mind
as you plan and take the family vacation that can keep you from
unrealistic expectations which will erode your experience:
1.Because kids accelerate with new experiences and fun times,
plan to GO rested; don’t plan on COMING HOME rested. 2.Consider
options for help with the kids. Many resorts and cruise lines
offer supervised programs for children where they can meet new
friends. Or take along a mother’s helper, older niece or nephew,
or grandmother. It’s more fun for all. 3.Plan ahead for the
unpredictable. Use your Emotional Intelligence to relax, being
flexible and creative, rather than tightening up and getting
rigid. Testing the limits in each new circumstance is normal.
You can handle it as long as you aren’t surprised by it.
4.Prepare for the predictable – high spirits, boredom, and
fights with siblings. Deal with them the same way you do at
home. Don’t blame each other for the misbehavior of the kids.
Just cope with it. 5.If you intend to have a great time
together, don’t let anything get in your way. There’s no reason
why a visit to the ER should “ruin your vacation,” any more than
a few tantrums, some embarrassing table behavior, a flat tire,
or missed plane connections should. Your experience of your
vacation is in your own hands. 6.Allow times and places for
children to work off their energy. Plan breaks during long car
trips. Take them for a run on the beach before you go to the art
museum, or turn them loose in the courtyard after the hotel
dinner with Great Aunt Betty. 7.Keep to a strict schedule
regarding naps, bedtimes and meals to improve their behavior. No
matter how much fun they’re having, children don’t do well when
too tired or too hungry.
8.Discuss expectations beforehand. Explain what you can, and
what sort of behavior you expect in different circumstances. You
can’t cover everything, but you can cover a lot. 9.Be alert to
their safety. Provide safety equipment – harness, car seat, life
jacket. Bring along a first-aid kit. Because a vacation provides
new situations, accidents are more likely to occur.
Last but not least, process after each vacation. Talk about what
worked and what didn’t. And don’t forget the most important
thing: Find out what everyone enjoyed the most. Be sure and go
over the good times with the family, and make plans for more in
the future, taking into consideration what you’ve learned.
