Find Your Perfect Partner

The mistake is to go looking, before cleaning up your own “back
yard”. The mistake is to seek someone because you’re so
desperately lonely, and don’t feel happy with your own company.
You may find a partner using this approach, but it often won’t
last, and will rarely lead to fulfillment.

There’s nothing wrong with this approach, and this newsletter
won’t stop anyone doing it. BUT - here’s the key to entering a
great relationship: You want to be having such a great time that
the perfect partner notices you and says “Hey - can I play too?”.

If you are already happy with your own company, and loving your
life, then skip straight to PART II - the action section. If
there are some things you’re ready to handle in your own life -
to prepare a more attractive space for a partner to come into
and play - then read on.

Try the following check list (add up your score - 1 for each
“true”): •I have a job I enjoy. •I am happy with my chosen
friends and am well supported. •I am complete (nothing
unresolved or unsaid) with my close family members and friends.
•I do not fret about money. (I have a reserve of cash and/or
regularly save a percentage of my income). •My home and bedroom
are places I would feel comfortable inviting someone to spend
time in. •I am happy with my current weight, appearance and the
way I dress. •I feel good about the food I eat and my current
exercise program. •I enjoy/am comfortable spending time alone.
•I have found things to do alone (other than reading or watching
TV) that I enjoy. •I am comfortable expressing myself. •My week
is fun - I have found things to do that are so much fun that I’m
not always looking around to see who I might meet.

You don’t need to score 11 to have a great relationship. But if
your score is not as high as you would like, why not choose
today to turn ONE thing on the above list into “True”? Work on
your own, with a friend, or with a coach.

Top Ten Practical Actions to Finding a Partner

The following is a brief extract from the full “Finding Mr.
Right” program (available at my web site). Make a couple of
these true today, then take your time with the rest…

•I have written down the Top None to Five requirements of the
partner I am seeking (e.g. kindness, ambition). •I have written
down the Top None to Five requirements of the relationship I am
seeking (e.g. honesty, laughter, support, eating ice-cream
together). (And are you available for casual dating, casual sex,
a “serious” relationship, marriage and kids?) •I have - in
conjunction with friends - come up with a list of at least five
places I might meet such a person (e.g. sporting clubs,
internet, parties, bars, interest groups) •I have told at least
ten friends the kind of partner and relationship I am seeking,
and that I would love to be introduced to potential partners,
and invited to a lot of parties! •I have written down at least
three possible dates to invite someone on, each being something
I really enjoy (e.g. walk on the beach, poetry reading, rock
climbing) •I ask out at least two people per week (and have
found a way that works for me and is not too scary). •I have
interviewed friends concerning how “available” I appear. (Some
people think they appear available, but come across as
aggressive or snobby.)